You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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