Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
