you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
