I wanna passion pit in your ass
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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