I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
