I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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