I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
