He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
