The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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