I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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