Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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