tonight lets celebrate not being married
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
