She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
