I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
he shaved USA in his pubs
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
