Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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