I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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