Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
