I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
On Saturday, I sharted on my roommates dog while trying to make it smell my farts. Today I got security clearance to work for one of the most respected and secretive govt agencies in the US
It's the American dream
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
