I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
