Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
