After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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