Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
