apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Randomize
