brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
