Umm I'm too high to move.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
