She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
