she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
You're earring is so big in my mouth
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
tell me about the eggs
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize