goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize