ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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