i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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