Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
