What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
