My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
