i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
