you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
