I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
