butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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