I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's never too late to be topless.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Randomize
