So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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