Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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