Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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