so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
