I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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