i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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