I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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