i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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