I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
