she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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