I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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