Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
