Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize