someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize