please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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