So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
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