Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
All the doctor said was why
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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