Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
