hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
COCAINE IS GR8
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
