I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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