i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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