Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
