Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
