It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just want nice things and good sex
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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