walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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