i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize
