I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
