You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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